On Villainy

The BBC recently produced a modern take on the Sherlock Holmes stories. It's fantastic; almost everyone I know has watched it, and loved it. It's only three episodes long [with more to come next year] and I don't think I'll be spoiling the story for anyone if I tell you that in the last episode Sherlock Holmes' arch-nemesis Moriarty makes his first appearence. True to form, the mad little Scotsman has now become my favourite character. He's absolutely insane. Last week, I was talking about my intense admiration for him to my colleague [informing her that I shall henceforth be known as Tomiarty] when I was struck by the realisation that I never root for the good guys. I almost always prefer the characters I'm supposed to hate. Why do I set myself up for such disappointment? Because let's be honest, the bad guys are never going to win, but despite the tall odds, I've always found myself more attached to them.

For a long time my favourite book was Les Liaisons Dangereuses, whose protagonists the Vicomte de Valmont and the Marquise de Merteuil, two bored, devious French aristocrats, amuse themselves by ruining other people's honour and reputations. They are incredibly nasty and sound like they would be too much fun on a night out. I was in awe of them and their evil games, of their heartlessness and complete lack of consideration of the consequences that befall the people they seduce.

Then I discovered Dracula, and decided I wanted him to be my new best friend. He's brutal, dark and from another time. I read this before vampires became brooding, sensitive and sexy and, while both approaches have their merits, Bram Stoker's vision is infinitely more frightening than that ginger bird in Twilight. I sympathised with him, I did. I understood his yearning for the former glory of his house, and his struggle to find a place in the modern world. The poor bloke - yes he kills people and drinks their blood, but come on, give him a break; he's got a lot on his mind.

Come to think of it, before I even knew these books existed I was devouring the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. I've lost count of how many times I've read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. My favourite part was not when Aslan is resurrected [yawn] or when the Pevensies are crowned at Cair Paravel [snore] but when the White Witch calls all the ghosts, witches and monsters to fight for her cause. It read like a list, a list of creatures I'd never even heard of before; I looked up 'incubus' in the dictionary and couldn't sleep for a week afterwards. Her insane jealousy and megalomania makes her, in my opinion, one of the best villains ever written.

I tend to find the good guys quite boring. During the Lord of the Rings trilogy I developed such a hatred of the scences with Frodo and Sam that I think I could have given Sauron a run for his money. However, this isn't always the case. Take Batman for example - he's a crimefighter, a do-gooder but I like him. I like him because he's motivated by revenge and loss. This is good - not for him, but for me. I think perhaps this is what I look for - some sort of imbalance, or motivation other than 'I want everybody to live happily ever after. All you need is love." Yes, I think that's it. Show me a character driven by the greater good or the fate of humankind and I'll tell you to jog on. Show me somebody driven by greed, power, revenge or guilt and I'll be cheering from the sidelines, albeit with the realistic assumption that I'm not on the winning team.

PS Please note that my admiration for the bad guys does not extend to reality. I don't support real evil doers, only made up ones.

On Being Human (and Paranormal Activity in 2009)

At 09:30 this evening, I will have wrested control of the TV remote for the long-awaited return of BBC3's Being Human - a comedy/drama in which a vampire, ghost and werewolf houseshare and try desperately to fit into a society that doesn't acknowledge their existence. I can't wait.

Everything about this programme is perfect for me - the supernatural taken away from Gothic castles and misty graveyards and transferred to three bedroom semi in a residential street in Bristol. There are no capes, coffins or cobwebs; there are copious cups of tea (made out of habit by a ghost who can't drink them), problems with the neighbours, relationship issues and struggles to make the best of a bad situation. It's almost taking the 'para' out of paranormal, and leaving us with three ordinary 20 somethings coping as best they can with their lot. Almost. But not quite. Because on a full moon George turns into a wolfman, Mitchell fights daily against the urge to drain the blood from every pretty young girl he sees and Annie tries to figure out why exactly she's still stuck on earth when she's...well...dead. I appreciate it might sound rubbish, especially with my dubious writing skills - but I seriously recommend it. It's great.

My excitement has lead me to consider the plethora of paranormal programmes, films and books that surfaced in 2009 - most of which I've been an avid fan of. Someone at work said they read an article saying that there's a history of vampire/zombie/werewolf books and films enjoying a soaring popularity during times of financial crisis. Whether this is true or not I don't know - was 2009's obsession with the supernatural sparked by the shower of shit that was the economic crisis? Maybe we have more time for it because we want to be dragged out of the dark reality of recession into a world where the ordinary can become extraordinary.

Earlier in the year, I spent no small amount of time immersed in reading the Twilight Saga, sharing knowing glances with other Twi-hards on the tube and train. By the time I'd finished it, however, I felt a bit...meh. The first couple are decent books, but by the last one Meyer had completely lost the plot, leaving us with an ending that didn't really satisfy and sounding a little bit too much like a prudish R.E. teacher telling students to be good when they grow up. She has a fantastic imagination, obviously, but I didn't really rate her writing - although it can't have been that bad because it did keep me hooked. I have a lot more time for the film. After watching Twilight for the first time I sent a friend a message saying something along the lines of "OMG Edward. Bite. My. Neck." It obviously affected me in a very profound way. I suppose I'm not really part of the demographic that the Twilight books are written for - perhaps that's why the writing grates on me. They're great for a bit of easy escapism - as books they don't demand anything from you, and the first film, I think, is actually well made.

Then True Blood hit our screens with graphic inter-species sex scenes and more parallels with the US Civil Rights Movement than you could shake a stick at. I've never read the Southern Vampire Books but the series blew me away with its adult treatment of the folklore we're already so familiar with. There's almost no comparision between Twilight's tween vampires and the edgey drama of True Blood. And am I the only one who didn't suspect xxx of being the murderer? Didn't see it coming at all. I could never relax while watching this - either a character I liked would end up smashed to a bloody pulp on the kitchen floor or someone would walk in while gentleman Bill Compton was giving Slutty Stackhouse one and I'd be branded a pervert for watching porn in the living room.

E4 saw the trend and added to it, with the fantastic Misfits following five young offenders who develop super powers after a freak storm hits London. E4's viral campaign surrounding this series was fantastic - the 'characters' are still tweeting and posting on YouTube now, keeping the audience in the loop while we wait for series 2. In the same vein as Being Human, the five protagonists are fairly ordinary people. They have no desire to perform heroic deeds and can make no sense of the gifts, or curses, thrust upon them. Misfits is at times laugh out loud funny, at others unexpectedly touching. It's almost a mixture of the above - the Twilight age group, with the gritty and dark, no holds barred humour of True Blood. Bring on series 2. Soon.

Hopefully this year won't be as difficult as last year - but if it is, fingers crossed we'll be given as much top-notch supernatural escapism to help keep reality at bay.

On A Quarterlife (or Afterlife) Crisis

I've just read the phrase 'quarterlife crisis' for the first time, on 20 Something Bloggers (http://www.20sb.net/group/quarterlifecrisis) and it made me wonder: is this what's behind my recent technology binge? For someone who has been something of a luddite up to now, it is perhaps a little out of character to embrace this blogging malarkey. And Twitter. I'm on that too now. Not that I know anyone on there, but I still can't get enough of it. There was a time when I didn't think about where Stephen Fry was or what he was up to (he's back in London, by the way). And then the I-Phone - I'm downloading apps like there's no tomorrow. Where has all of this come from I ask you!? This time a month ago I was perfectly happy (or blissfully ignorant?) with a laptop for games and Facebook and a phone that could make calls and do absolutely nothing else.


Don't get me wrong - I like blogging and Twitter and am pleased to have discovered them, for they have a kind of real world value, a valid point - but the problem lies deeper. You see, doctor, the thing is, I'm worried that my wondrous new phone is unearthing an old me - one that I buried kicking and screaming after I left home for uni. GeekMe. The I-Phone has provided me with a funky little app for downloading comic books, and has also got me obsessed with a game in which you pretend to be vampire killing zombies. It's all a bit Top Trumps, with points for attack and defence etc, and a page with people you can attack for blood, with which you can buy new supernatural powers.


I know, I'm not doing myself any favours - on the off-chance there was a secret reader out there in the blogosphere, wondering whether this drivel is interesting enough to merit their time, the chances are they have by now packed their bags and moved on. But don't abandon me yet, imaginary reader, for I will beat this.


I shall concentrate my efforts on the cooler things in life; on reading, drinking, eating out and going to the gym. I shall leave myself as little time alone as possible without being accused of stalking my nearest and dearest, so as to avoid the temptation of this virtual world of the undead. I shall go to work every day, and embrace Real Life once more. Then I will have buckets of interesting things to blog about and Undead-GeekMe will be banished...until next time... (mwah ha ha ha).