Saturday, 2 January 2010

On The End Being Nigh

Alas yes, my Christmas holiday is drawing to a close and my nose shall be forced back to the grindstone on Monday. Boo! Hiss! I've had far too long off and have accustomed myself to this glorious inactivity.

Well, what have the first few days of 2010 brought?

NYE passed without incident. By 'without incident' I mean 'without drunken, violent, monster incident', for much drunken fun was had. It's been noticed that I have developed a tendency to wash up when drunk at someone else's house. I'm not sure why this is but I'm not sure it's such a bad trait to have? I'm ever so careful to avoid breakages...

I also saved the following note on my phone at 10 o'clock - I must have thought it was poetic, or at least have been very moved by the situation I found myself in:

"I'm staring at the moon through the clouds. A snowflake lands on my cheek. The clouds part and four birds fly across the moon. A chav walks past and a firework bursts. My concentration is broken."

Right. Good one. It reminds me of a book I bought from a school fete when I was a wee lad - all set in the first person with questions at the end of each page telling you which page to go to next, depending on what decision you make. For example, my drunken rambling could be followed by:

a) I shout at the chav for interrupting my meditation. Go to page 13.
b) I shoot the birds. Go to page 14.
c) I say 'Aaaah' at the pretty firework. Go to page 15.

Come to think of it, I'm so wrong - it was written in the second person not the first, so all of the above was bollocks, but I've written it now. It's the sort of book that makes me feel uncomfortable anyway, a bit dirty if you will.

The concept's been taken to new levels now though - have a look at the video below and tell me that the world of games has not sunk into a moral abyss;

"That's an abomination, no way that's natural."

An adventurer is offered an array of male prostitutes of various species (human, dwarf, elf) to have his wicked way with. What is this? A Middle Earth brothel? If so, I want Sean Bean.

New Year's Day was spent in a drunken heap, hugging the toilet like we were lovers reunited after a long separation. Suffice it to say that we're now fully reacquainted and hopefully won't need to bond again for a very long time. I did however, manage to watch an entire series of Blackadder (the third one, set in the Regency period). I love that programme, almost too much for words, but my hangover turned my laugh into an embarrassing high-pitched squeak and sent my tear ducts into overdrive.

Well, I'm off. Back to watching N play Call of Duty while making unecessary amounts of noise chomping on a biscuit, and listening to my dad wrestling with a bottle of brandy in the!



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