On Sticking My Oar In [Part II]

Just when I thought my blog-well was dry and could think of nothing to write about, Gingerella saved the day with a meme. Gingerella I am indebted to you!

What is your most embarrassing moment of all time?

There are plenty to choose from, but this one stands out from the crowd:

I was at university, and so drunk I fell over on the dance floor [if only the embarrassment stopped here]. Seeing me sprawled on the floor in a puddle of drink, a bouncer came down to escort me out; I was, to be fair, far too inebriated to be anywhere apart from my bed. He asked me to follow him, which I did, and everything seemed fine, until he turned round and said,

"You don't have to hold my hand."

OH. MY. WORD. I didn't even realise, but as we walked through the crowd, I'd grabbed his hand. I must have been afraid of losing him in the throng. If only. On the upside, however, he did change his mind about sending me home - he must have decided I was far too soft to pose a real danger to anyone.

If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Wasabi peas. Again and again. Although I'd need a drink to wash them down, they're fiery little bastards for someone with as low a tolerance for hot foods as I. I shouldn't love them this much, but I do.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Hmmm...I don't know. I was such a slut. That's a joke, I wasn't. It just doesn't stand out as a memorable moment. This milestone, this rite of passage, probably passed me by due to the intense concentration required to avoid carving the other person's lips up with my brace. Bad times.

What is your browser home page?

At home, just Google. At work, I have iGoogle, with a translator (which is woefully inaccurate at times), a currency converter and a Spanish Word of the Day. Today's word was 'tranquillo', which means calm. I now know the words for calm, monkey, beer, fuck and toilet. This could make for an interesting sentence...

What colour do you never wear?

Beige. I'm open to most other colours though, and wear black and white too much.

Nature lover or city slicker?

This is hard to say, but I'd probably choose a city over the countryside. I like to be in the middle of things. I love busy places like stations and airports and tourist traps. You don't get that in the countryside. You're all alone, and if I'm alone I think, and if I think I'm in trouble.

If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

In attempt to keep this post light-hearted, I'm going to put three superficial wishes. There are things that are more important to me, but I'll save those babies for a time I'm really miserable and wish to drag you all in to share my woe. Suffice it to say, for the moment, that the following would bring a smile to my face and a tear of joy to my eye:

1. England to win the World Cup [we'll need some magic for this to happen].

2. A lottery win would do nicely, as always. LOTTERY GODS SMILE UPON ME. MAKE ME HAPPY. Money shouldn't make people happy or sad, but it can completely alter my mood. I don't think I need it to be happy, but it does remove a lot of obstacles.

3. The world can't end in 2012. Simple. It must not; I have plans and an apocalypse will inconvenience me terribly.

Do you have any scars? How did you get them?

None of any interest. I think I have one under my eyebrow from headbutting a flower pot when I was little, but my eyebrow hides it.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Not seen one but...[click for an account of my only paranormal encounter] - sorry for lazy linkage, but it's quite a long-winded story, and it's past my bed time!

What is your dream job?

When I was young, I wanted to be a button designer. I used to raid my mum's sewing box for interesting buttons. I still feel that there is a niche market for bespoke buttons and have not given up on my dream of one day breaking into this most sought-after industry.

I'm supposed to pass this meme on, but I know some people don't like them, so I'd like to set this meme free, like a bird from a cage. If you want to, take the bird in, feed it, give it a place to roost for the night, then send it on its way. If not...erm...shoot it, cook it and eat it?