Wednesday, 22 December 2010

On the Small Screen


1. I have huge bags under my eyes. I am not a drug addict, I've just been out a lot lately, which coupled with this getting old lark is taking its toll on my once youthful features.

2. Despite what this may sound like, I am not going to turn up on your doorstep, so fear not.

3. I keep sniffing. I am not a drug addict. I've just been ill.

4. I'm making a 'I'm going to kill you face' at the beginning. This is unintentional. I don't want to kill you, not in the slightest.

5. This is also complete rubbish.


  1. Finally! A video blog!! So may I just say that your accent is not as bad as you think? It's not bad AT ALL!!

    Don't worry about the end of the world. It's not gonna happen on 2012. I have talked to my people so don't worry.

    Also, I didn't know about your birthday. FORGIVE ME, Cuz!!! Happy belated birthday!!!

  2. Free bars are always a disaster for me. I end up destroying myself at house parties because hey, the booze is free so why not have another? But yeah, getting older really makes the hangovers so much worse. I can't party like I'm 19 anymore.

    Hope you had a swell birthday!

  3. That was fantastic! You are very brave for doing a video blog! You did what I have tried and failed miserably! I look forward to more.

    Happy 2011 to you as well! If the end of the world could wait off a wee bit longer, I'd appreciate it! I seem to be implying that you have a say in the end of the world, which I am doubting you actually do, but if by chance you are involved, I need a bit more travel time first, please.

  4. YAY VLOG YAY! Commenting as I watch you:


    2. I don't know what you've been going on about all these months- you sound fine! Your accent isn't remotely chav-like! I didn't hear one, 'innit'? (yes, stereotype ftw!)

    3. Your face is not big!

    4. Looking back at 2010, it wasn't amazing.. but it was alright. A decent/average year. 2009 was beyond rubbish for me though. :)

    5. I would totally waste 'precious minutes of my time' on reading about how wound up you are. Partly because I don't actually have anything called 'precious minutes of time' and partly because you're totally worth listening to/reading.

    6. You are so GOOD. I'd be littering (and I do) my vlogs with four letter words and not caring about sensibilities. <3

    7. As healthy as your perspective on whinging is- it's also sort of unfair to yourself. Sure, someone else's problems may be worse or different or whatever.. but the thing is that you don't have those problems. Your experiences are JUST as valid as anybody else's and it's not fair to make it a compare and contrast sort of scenario.

    8. 2012 is going the be the most boring, anti-climactic year...EVER.

    9. YES! Come visit me!!

    10. You're not stupid! You're silly.

    11. I love how awkward you are! I LOVE IT. When Brandi and I come visit you, we can make the most awkward video of ALL TIME. The Internet will implode! <3

    You are awesome. So thank you for being awesome and adorable and silly and just about the cutest thing in an age. <3 <3 Happy blogiversary and happy birthday, again! <3

  5. Oh Tom! I love you for doing this! I know Lauren is a pro and this, but I think making awkward Vlogs should be a TASG theme one week. But that might be bad 'cause we may lose some if not all of our 13 followers as soon as they hear my voice.

    Happy Christmas again Tom!

  6. :D You are fantastic, Tom. I love this.
    My favorite part was your commentary on the world ending. I'm hoping it waits until 2012 at least but if it starts happening in 2011 maybe it will inspire some good posts for the TASG. "Tune in this week to read about how the members of the TASG plan to fight off hoards of zombies." Haha! I bet Allison would have a good playlist to go along with fighting off zombies!
    Anyway, I digress. I'm glad I met you in the blogosphere this year, dude. Happy Christmas!

  7. OMG,this was awesome!No you don't have a big face and you're welcome at my place anytime,though I must warn you I have a dog :P haha you weren't half as awkward as me I would stared and then frozen and fallen off the chair.So thumbs up! :) Oh,and happy belated birthday.Hope you have a great year ahead,not in bits and parts,but y'know..the whole hunk of it :)

  8. I like your voice. Do you fancy reading me a bed time story?

  9. You have amazing deadpan. The part about taking your life back to the shop to get a refund and compensation, LOVE IT!
    Also, do you hate that I have a foul mouth? I do hope I haven't offended your sensibilities, Mr Read.
    ALSO, you dog ear your books?! This offends my sensibilities.
    Thanks for bringing it back to the positive at the end, Nostradamus.
    You can totally come to Paris, couch surfing rules!

  10. @ Gnetch - I was speaking properly in that! I was! If you listen carefully, there are a few 'fanks' and 'fings' that escaped my clutches. For my next vlog, I'll get drunk and you'll see how bad it really is.

    @ theTsaritsa - I feel I should begin to grow old gracefully now, but that seems so bloody boring. I'd rather put up with looking dog rough the day after, I think.

    @ Kisekae - I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises. I'm not overstating my reach when I say that I do have considerable influence on the End of the World Committee, what date would be good for you?

    @ Risha - 1 - THANKS. I don't look it here though. I should have waited until the day after. I look half dead. VAIN.
    2 - I'm being posh! There are a few slips here. I'm sure you heard them and are just being polite.
    3 - It is, it's immense. I shall sit further back next time, and turn the light off. What a vlog that will be.
    4 - in which case, I hope that your 2011 is better than 2010, as 2010 was better than 2009 ;)
    5 - you don't have 'precious minutes of time'? We must get you some. Then you can waste them.
    6 - Haha. To be honest, I don't know why I said that. It's not like I had to be on my best behaviour or anything.
    7 - you'll regret saying that, when I whinge so much you want to hit me - but say it you did, so you've only yourself to blame.
    8 - I hope so. It worries me. Everything worries me.
    9 - OK!
    10 - That too.
    11 - That will be a feast of awkwardness well worth watching. Can we ensure some drinking is involved beforehand though? Then we'll be drunk and awkward. Which will be even better.
    You're too nice to me. Stop it.

    @ Allison - I'm up for that! It would be good. However, we'd need Lauren to sign a disclaimer that her vlog won't be too good, otherwise it'll be embarrassing. I bet you're hiding some video editting skills too. I have none of that. Just me and a poxy webcam. ;)

    @ Lauren - that's so true. In fact I'd quite like Allison to publish her zombie killing playlist in advance so I can make sure it's on my pod, ready for the arrival of the undead at my door. I doubt they'd wait for me to download it before the pillaging commenced.

    @ Sweta - I hope the whole hunk of it is great for you too. And I do think I have big face still. And I like dogs. Which type of dog do you have?

    @ London Girl - I only know The Wild Things, is that ok or have you heard it before?

    @ Erin - no way, I love your foul mouth. I don't know why I felt like I was meeting someone's parents, but I felt the pressure to be polite. And yes, I dog-ear them really rather violently. I also enjoy a good spine crack. Bonjour Paris! I'm on the train over now - see you in half hour?

  11. Haha! Your description of blogging: all these people, all over the world, writing all this stuff. It's actually perfectly accurate but I found it really funny!

    No, thank you for the vlog. I think you were absolutely fine, you seemed really quite comfortable. I'd have to edit and chop mine all over the place but I really want to do one for my blog (I used to do them on YouTube).

    Finally, a late Merry Christmas and a less-belated, but only slightly, Happy New Year!