Saturday, 24 July 2010

On Not Being the One and Only

The phones in our office might as well not be there, they so rarely ring. When the phone on my desk does ring, it's usually my dad. If it's not my dad, then it's someone from another department looking for the man in IT who has the same name as me. I get these fairly often, and do my best not to shout at people as I understand it's an easy mistake to make. However, I find it difficult to find the 'you must get this all the time' line as funny as they do, because yes, I do get it all the time - and it's wearing thin.

To be honest, my issue is not really with the people who ring but the Man With My Name. It's not fair. Everywhere I've lived, studied or worked prior to this place, I've always been the one and only - like Chesney Hawkes [I have no idea if this song exported, but it definitely should have]. I'm struggling to come to terms with this...this...imposter, this pretender to MY throne. What's worse is that I am now the useless TR - the one people ring by accident, the one nobody wants. He's won. He's important. And that's. Not. Fair [cue tantrum].

This morning I googled my name [inspired by Rob's post here]. The first hit is a website of a man who plays the bass, teaches maths, hikes, writes and presents on amateur radio. That's quite a busy life and puts my "wake up - work - [get drunk when not broke] - go home - sleep" daily routine to shame. The next is a book on Amazon, written by someone who spent his life in the SAS before succumbing to mental illness and comitting suicide. He is followed by a financial planner, a litigation lawyer, a designer and illustrator and one of the world's greatest mountainboarders - a list of people who have achieved. It would seem that the Club-TR has many talented, accomplished members*. I got up to page 19, where the hits descended into various mispelt sentences that just happen to spell my name, before accepting that I am nowhere to be found.

My name, however, cannot be blamed for this. It's not the problem. As Shakespeare once said 'That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'. While I, by any other name, would still do as little and drink as much. And that's why I'm lost in Google.

*This sentence sounds rude in my head. I hope it doesn't read that way. I've no idea how talented the members' members may be, and wouldn't like to speculate.


  1. I feel your pain. I pride myself on my originality and am therefore dismayed when I google my name and find lots of people that aren't me. Also, apparently there's a girl with my name somewhere in South America who meets a lot of guys in bars and then they get on facebook and message me by mistake. I then have to tell them that I'm in Oregon and I'm probably not the Lauren they're looking for. The Internet is so good at reminding me of my insignificance in this big world that is becoming smaller everyday.

  2. You know what, I just Googled Gnetch recently and found out that I have a Flickr account. Which, I swear, I don't. Someone else used my name.

    Or maybe there's someone else with that name. Which is weird. I thought I was the only one named Gnetch!!! Should I go get my gun now?

    Wait. I don't have a gun.

  3. Back in highschool, i have to share my name with 2 other girls in my class. Our teachers have to call us by our surnames so that no one gets confused. I blame my father for liking The Beatles too much that he named me 'Michelle' obviously from their song with my name.

    But i like my name though, haha!

  4. Don't worry. Even though other people share your name, you're still a special snowflake :)

    *goes to Google self*

  5. I know your pain. At least, for my first name alone. I have always been used to being the only one with my name, save for a few small incidences, and those drove me crazy. I'm used to being the one and only, and the idea of sharing my name makes my blood boil.

    That being said, if you google my name? The first 7 pages are actually me, and stuff I've published, etc. That still makes me feel kind of special.

    Were I ever to discover another with my full name, I'd probably be a little freaked out.

  6. I never meet anyone with my name, but I was told by a friend to call a guy who needed a babysitter for his daughter and when I called him he freaked out because his sister is named Adria. I was irked until he told me she was the pretty one in the family and showed me a picture. I feel better about it now.

  7. @ Lauren - that's fantastic! I imagine that would be quite entertaining - are the messages filthy or really quite tame? Maybe you should contact her directly - pass the back over. OR charge them for the connection. You'd be like a pimp. An iPimp.

    @ Gnetch - someone is pretending to be you? Well, you know who it is don't you. It's the Bieber. He's after you Gnetchy. He's stealing your identity. You'd better sort out that lack of gun. 'Cos he's coming for you.

    @ Mish - that song is one of my favourite songs EVER. That's great. Even if you did have to have your surname barked at you by teachers. There were three Toms in my class too - we had to be called Tom, Thomas and Tommy. I was Tom, which I was pleased with.

    @ Tsarita - you're completely right. I am a special snowflake, in so many ways. I hope you didn't find anything too shocking.

    @ Geek - you're lucky. Well, obviously you've put the work in so it's not all luck and you're right to feel special. You're out there on the interweb!

    @ Adria - you see, this is the beauty of having an unusual name, you're allowed to be annoyed if you meet someone with the same one. I can only wish for this. And yes, I can understand why it made you feel better to know that The Other One was not a complete munter - that could have been soul destroying.